The Air Horn

I have this air horn for my bicycle. It was given to me -- it was kind of a joke, kind of an award. I don't think it was a comment on how i ride -- I hope not.

The horn mounts on the handlebars. It's connected to a bottle that fits into a water bottle cage, you pump air into it with a bike pump, pump to a really high pressure. It's loud. It's REALLY loud. I don't like to be close to it.

About a week ago i mounted it on the newly painted bike. Mounting it was also kind of a joke -- i was going to be riding with the folks who gave it to me. They laughed when they saw it. I honked it a few times for fun, in industrial areas away from homes or people. The cyclists with me didn't want to be in front of me when i honked it.

I rode with it for a week. I never once used it for it's intended purpose. But i thought about it a lot. I didn't actually ever think about using it, but i thought about the horn.

There are lots of minor conflicts daily with motorists who are distracted, aggressive or clueless. But all of those, even the frustrating ones, i handle without the need for sounding like an 18 wheeler. Sometimes i get annoyed, mostly i just stay alert and take action. I rarely, if ever, get into a verbal conflict.

So riding along i started thinking about how this thing might be used. There are really only two ways: prophylactic or punitive.

It could be used as a prophylactic measure -- to prevent something. If something was about to happen i might use it to try to prevent a conflict. A loud burst on the horn might, perhaps, alert a driver who was doing something crazy, like the Taxi cab last week that was baring down on me on a one lane residential street. But in those situations i'm more concerned with taking evasive action, my finger does not naturally go looking for the horn button while i'm getting out of the way.

Or it could be used as a punitive measure -- in anger, after someone threatened me and the danger had passed. Punishment. The other night a Cadillac switched to my side of the street flipped their bright lights and drove straight at me. I could've blasted the horn as i squeezed by them. But my being a jerk because they were a jerk would not make it better. That's not who i want to be.

Today a car ran a stop sign in front of me, didn't slow down, didn't even pretend to stop. THIS. This was the only situation where it might make sense to use the horn. But i didn't. I yelled, but my natural reaction was to take evasive action and keep both hands on the bars.

It's a fun thing but there really is no good time to use it. I removed it from the bike today. If i'm ever in a parade maybe i'll put it back on.